The mind is a terrible thing to waste (A monologue)

WOW! Its been almost 4 months since my last post.  Lots has been going on behind the scenes; lots of learning and evolving. I will post up what bits and pieces I have been working on in a moment. But I just wanted to kind of type out some thoughts that has been creeping up lately.

This is me in a nut shell

The mind or more specifically, imagination is a gift and a curse (well for me anyway). Like all designers, artists or creative people you need a good imagination. Your imagination can drive you to the heights of ecstasy. But it can also take you to the darkest depth of terror and fear, making us see and believe things that are not necessarily real.

What I have learned is that just because I can feel it or imagine it it does not make it true. And all the worry, fear and anxiety is all made up from my creative imagination. Obviously I need my imagination to do my work but how do I control it from swinging to the dark side?

Although there is a mental tussle of me not believing in myself saying I am no good enough etc etc, I still feel I work much better when I am a little depressed. But why is that? I use this as some sort of focus yet once its finished I am on a high for a little then I get the come down which is really hard and don’t want to produce anything for ages.

The routine of being scared, then focused then on a high then the crash is exhausting but I bet there is an art project in that lol

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